Episode 26 - Whether OOHLALA or OOHLALA or OOHLALA or OOHLALA

This week, with our good friend Max Skelton, we talk about OJ, Iron Patriot, GTA: 'Sans Andreas', GTA IV, Maltesers, The Simpsons Movie, 'lieutenant', milk (correction: 'milk' in polish is 'mleko'. I am a bad person), Max Payne 3 (and a short history of Rockstar games), and import games. We read some poetry, have two seperate instances of technical difficulties (sorry...) and attempt to struggle through stip-stiggidy story time. We talk about GAME, the PS Vita (and LittleBigPlanet Vita), 38 Studios' closure, we put Maltesers in our noses, discuss Because We May, talk about storing beach equipment up our arses, Jet Set Radio and Assassin's Creed 3 headed to Vita, a new Star Wars game, Tony Hawk HD's soundtrack (and why their recent games have failed), and Diablo 3 becomes more popular than being Scottish. We discuss the flaws of online gaming, XCOM, and a final dose of poetry with General von Worthingtonfotherfordshire the 13th-and-a-half.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Emerge And Seek: Nathan Meunier / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

The Last Arp Fades At Dawn: Flashbob / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

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I'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR DONG AND ITS OMINOUS GRACE
Check out Max Skelton's upcoming webseries Richter & Crowe! They have microphones with fuzzy things on 'em. Pretty fuckin' professional.
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Add Xavier on PSN: xavierrn
If you're going to put candy in your nose, Maltesers are, while somewhat unpleasant, a relatively safe bet. Their size stops them from causing blockages or permanent damage while still being an enjoyable nasal challenge.

Episode 25 - A Close Shave

This week, we talk about El Nombre, Tom's haircut, guacamole, GTA: San Andreas, Bike Baron, Batman: Arkham Asylum, Max Payne 3, cider, Rolf Harris, the GAME fiasco (and its impact on Diablo fans), the nature of preorders, The Last Of Us' new trailer, Tomb Raider and South Park: The Stick of Truth's delays, Ralph Wiggum, Arkham City GOTYE, Sly Cooper Vita's cross-play plans, we fight about retail vs. online (skip to 52:52 to avoid marital dramas), PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale, BarCraft, THQ's pre-E3 event, embargoes, Insert Coin(s), and our very dear friends Patch Kolan and Maude Garrett.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan
Anti-Kakuna: Love Through Cannibalism
Hot In Herre: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

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PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!
Check out BarCraft's venue, the Paragon Hotel!
Check out Insert Coin(s)! No, seriously, do it. It's the best.
Check out our amigos @PatchKolan and @maudegarrett!
Also, I've become quite fond of Instagram, so follow me on that: xavierrn
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Add Xavier on PSN: xavierrn
Don't make fun of Sandsky's haircut. You'll hurt his feelings.

Episode 24 - Multi-Ball

This week, on an especially chaotic episode, we're joined by Max Skelton and discuss flight mode, snacks, Captain Morgan, Batman: Arkham Asylum, Oobisoft, balls, all-you-can-eat Pizza Hut, and the IGN AU Starhawk Black Beta. We then delve into stip-stiggity story time: Bioshock Infinite is delayed, LittleBigPlanet Vita beta is announced, Sony's shares fall to a 31-year low, Mojang boycott E3 (and we piss off our legion of Swedish fans), a $99 Xbox Three Hundred and Sixty confirmed, Internet Explorer is headed to Xbox... and then we trail off into a discussion about Bing, Charlize Theron, porn parodies, serial killers, sex pistols, Fez, story vs. gameplay, Japanese RPG characters, Psychonauts, SSJ Industries' CEO John C. Pendleton, and something about "a dick that looks like a pinball table". Then we rap things up with a few songs. Lovely.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Beepbop: Dragan Espenschied / CC BY-NC 3.0

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MULTIPLIER! DINGDINGDING!
Check out Max Skelton's upcoming webseries Richter & Crowe! It has moustaches in it!
Also, it's your last chance to pick up a ticket for Insert Coin(s)! Do it! Try and beat us in Street Fighter!
Add Sandsky on XBL: colourfast
Add Xavier on PSN: xavierrn
Add Max on PSN: cheekymax
If you wet the bed, don't just lie there. Change those sheets!

Episode 23 - Everything's Better on a (joy)Stick

This week, we talk about Scotland, impressions, states of matter, jelly wrestling, beef jerky, bush-dwellers, sleeping in the doghouse, Free Comic Book Day, A Very Spider-Man 9/11, kidnapping prostitutes, Uncharted: Golden Abyss, GTA: San Adreas, Rinth Island, and IGN's upcoming Starhawk Black Beta. Then, stip-stiggity-story time hits like a ton of bricks: Skyrim's "Dawnguard" DLC, The Elder Scrolls Online, Dead Island: GOTY edition?, Draw Something buying our souls (and the reanimation of Colonel Sanders), Mythic: The Story of Gods and Men Kickstarter scandal, The Unfinished Swan announced for PSN, Saints Row the Third's "Enter the Dominatrix" DLC, and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Black Ops 2. Also, the dastardly Wine Pocket returns, which causes things to take a serious downturn pretty damn quickly.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

Video Challenge: Anamanaguchi / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

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...The hell?
Check out Insert Coin(s)! It's comfy, and easy to wear!
Also, check out the new issue of Alphabet Pony! I realise this is pretty transparent cross-promotion, but I did some reviews and an interview for this month's issue, which just came out. Take a look! Please!
Add Sandsky on XBL: colourfast
Add Xavier on PSN: xavierrn
One pizza is probably enough pizza but if you want to have more pizza but you feel like people will think bad things about the amount of pizza you're eating there's a pretty good chance that you're hanging out with the wrong kind of people because in the scheme of things it shouldn't really matter to anyone how much pizza you eat unless it's seriously affecting your health in which case they probably only want what's best for you and if it's gotten to such a serious point where your friends are worried about your health then it's probably way harder for them to work up the courage to say something about it to you then it would be for you to forgo whatever other pizza you were thinking about having but I suppose at the end of the day the decision is really up to you and you shouldn't let other people determine your future for you if you can avoid it!

i look like a jerk in this photo

Episode 22 - The Meg White of Podcasts

This week, we talk about iOS ports of Max Payne and Marvel vs. Capcom 2, Trials: Evolution, Crash Team Racing, and my new PlayStation Vita. Wow. That really sounds like we talk about gaming on this show. Tom uses the phrase 'donkey nipples', and we talk about the robot uprising, if that helps. Stip-stiggity story time returns, with news on SimOcean, Batman: Arkham City and Uncharted 3's Games Of The Years Editionses, Nintendo's steps towards an online future, and their financial losses, Portal 2 (Seal of Approval winner)'s upcoming DLC, PlayStation All-Stars: Battle Royale, and The Walking Dead's failure to drag its rotting corpse over to Australia. Also we talk about hologram food, and announce our very own video game, and talk about Sandsky's abandoned career as a soprano, and mine as an ogre.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

hrvat: Dragan Espenschied / CC BY-NC 3.0

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RIBBETZKI!
Check out the freaking White Stripes. Meg White is a great drummer. We are just fucking around.
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Add Xavier on PSN: xavierrn
If it doesn't fit up your nose, chances are it won't fit in your ear! You probably don't need to even try! You can take my word for it!

Xavier, age 10. Frankly no different to today.

Episode 21 - Sandsky Hates Black People

This week, on a seriously-not-racist episode of Something Something Joystick, we talk about awful beer, the new theme song, Beyoncé, Mass Effect 2, bingo, Ron Keremy, and Jacked: the Outlaw Story of Grand Theft Auto. Then, subtle as a sledgehammer, stip-stiggity-story-time: our hilarious take on a hundred-year-old comedy sketch, crystal meth, God of War: Ascension, Title Fight (PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale), New Super Mario Bros. 2, Marvel Vs Capcom 2 headed to iPhone, Mario & Pikmin games coming to WiiU, Super Mario Bros. 4 (aka Age of Empires with drugs), The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, George Lucas hates Empire Strikes Back, the Seal of Ganus, Big Brother, Insert Coin(s), and viewer mail. Oh, and Tom touches my balls and has a funny voice, and Morgan Freeman is trapped in my brain.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan

DEFINE: Dragan Espenschied / CC BY-NC 3.0

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HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. OH.
Check out Jacked!
Check out Insert Coin(s)! It's really really fucking awesome.
Add Sandsky on XBL: colourfast
Add Xavier on PSN: xavierrn
If it's a Sunday, and you usually record a podcast on Sundays, don't agree to play two games of hockey in a row! Your co-host will resent you for the rest of your life!