Episode 41 - Is Your Dick God?

This week, on a very special Xavier's Birthday episode, we try out some new mic techniques and talk about hangovers, Taylor Swift and pedophilia, Mega Man X in bed, Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3, Banjo Kazooie, Donkey Kong 64, Mario Kart 64, Virtual Chess 64, a bizarre Super Mario 64 mission, Crackdown, and lying about enjoying a party.
As a special birthday surprise, I barely put together any news this week, but I make up for it by barely putting together a theme song for SSST either. We do talk about a few things - those copies of Resident Evil 6 were totally stolen, the Killzone Trilogy is totally a thing, EA is totally uninterested in games with no online component, Darksiders II is totally saving THQ's bacon, Ubisoft announced a totally rad new AssCreed mobile game (Assassin's Creed Utopia), and Ace Attorney is totally coming to 3DS.
We go long on the Ask SSJ this week, talking about cereal conspiracies, the Illuminati, laughing at friends' injuries, horrible drug trips, seeing each other's privates, "being like food", near-death experiences (and the dangers of bark), the worst episode of SSJ, manliness, the economic ramifications of infinite money, euphemisms for masturbation, superhuman vomiting, drunken promises, our newest fan the Grim Reaper, bloodsports (and the cruelest deathtrap of all - life), what it takes to be cool, and our new names.
Then Tom gets offered coke, I realise I'm actually 21, and then THE EPISODE ENDS. WHOA

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan
And The Beat Goes On: Pablo J & The Lobsterettes

Die Uhr Rmx: Pocketmaster / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

apelz: Occasional Octopus

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C-SUS 2?! I DOUBT IT!
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FREE ADVICE: Sex is a trapping of the weak.

YO POKÉMON SNAP GANGSTZZZ

Episode 40 - Oh Na Na, What's My Bane

This week, we talk about Baby Mario, child torturer Shigeru Miyamoto, a 'pizza button', the complexities of racial sensitivity, Spring Break, 'bales of weed', Wes Anderson, the existence of a soul, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, Pro Evolution Soccer 2013, Dead Or Alive 5, Rocksmith, and Sound Shapes. We have a buttload of news this week: PAX heads to Australia, Team Bondi announce Whore Of The Orient, Insomniac Games announce Fuse, Deep Silver announce Dead Island: Riptide, Double Fine announce Middle Manager of Justice, Square Enix announce Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII, as well as a giant collection of every major game in the series. Amazon France leaks a potential Killzone Trilogy, Konami announce a social game, a new Metal Gear Solid game called Ground Zeroes, and a movie adaptation. Valve is finally releasing Black Mesa Source, we talk about another coffee table book (this time based on Punch-Out!!), the FAA makes movements to end their reign of tyranny, and the glorious nation of Poland gets their hands on Resident Evil 6.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan
Kurt Vonnegut: Born Ruffians
Water In The Something: Occasional Octopus

CLICK HERE to download!
RACK CITY BITCH RACK RACK CITY BITCH
Check out Mike and Tom Eat Snacks (and while you're at it - other Podcasts We Like!)
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FREE ADVICE: If you can't do a Bane impression, don't try it out on your podcast anyway.

Episode 39 - Meth Pebbles

This week, we talk about colonial singsong, sexy dinosaurs, high-pitched voices, Coopers Pale, the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers SNES game, and Sandsky's newfound mind-reading powers. In the news - the ACT approves the R18+ rating, Sony Studios Liverpool closes its doors, as does Nintendo Power magazine, Harmonix is looking for a 'Combat Designer', Peter Molyneux's new game is delayed by NASA, Psychonauts is coming to the PSN, Minecraft adds baked potatoes and carrots, MMORPGs are expensive when you are a kid, and Nintendo celebrates Kirby with a room full of chuckleheads chewing gum. We take some viewer mail from Evil Ex-Girlfriend Sage Juan, talk about violence and Paris, and then check in with our favourite segment: Ask SSJ, which prompts discussions of Tourette's syndrome, misplaced pride, NSFW jokes, Crystal Pepsi, the Australian potato chip market, and the ethics of posting naked pictures on the internets.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan
You're The Only Thing: Pablo J & the Lobsterettes

Towards The Hollow Sound: Nathan Meunier / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

CLICK HERE to download!
BILLY WAS A MOUNTAIN. ETHEL WAS A TREE GROWING OFF OF HIS SHOULDER.
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FREE ADVICE: Pick Zack. He's got an ax.

I do not remember taking this photograph. -X

Episode 38 - Mead For Speed

This week, suffering under technical difficulties, we talk about Apple's wrongdoings, mead, memes, Out To Dinner, Magic: The Gathering 2013, Virtual Chess 64, SNES, and a new (real) job. Sony kills it at Gamescom - Crossbuy, Until Dawn, Puppeteer, Rain, Killzone: Mercenary and Tearaway are all announced. The Vita won't be getting a price cut this year, Capcom announce a terrible new Mega Man game, The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia gets an English translation, Capcom announce a sexy new Inception clone, Ubisoft confirm Rayman Legends will be a WiiU exclusive, the PlayStation Plus service gets even better, and Diablo III gets a free trial. We discuss the colour of the Big Apple, potential tattoos (by the way, here's that Whitest Kids U'Know sketch), lisps, Snagglepuss, and Seinfeld impressions.

MUSIC USED:
Plinky Plonky (Daytrotter Session): Born Ruffians
Click Click Click Click: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan (from 2008! Jebus...)

CLICK HERE to download!
YOU WANT TO GET BOWSER WITH SHADES WAILING ON A DOUBLE NECK GUITAR, NOTES COMING OUT, HE'S ON A SURFBOARD, AND ABOVE HIM IT SAYS 'LET'S PARTY'?
Add Sandsky on XBL: colourfast
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FREE ADVICE: Don't upload your podcast late.

btw, we didn't take a photo this week, so enjoy a video we watched about 6 times in between recording segments of this episode:

Episode 37 - Is That A Lobster In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To Sea-Meat? (feat. Lara McConnell!)

This week, with special guest Lara McConnell, we talk about MySpace, the Andy Richter scale, being a strong independent black woman who don't need no man, Slender, OWOTP Maude Garrett, LA Noire, our stories from the weekend (including orgies, spitting, 'knighting', pretty girls, disembodied nipples, and our favourite 'djuo', PBJ). In gaming news, we recap the Ouya's Kickstarter drive, Windows accidentally announce a new Xbox (then cover it up), Blizzard's security is breached, Epic Games hire Big Huge Games alumni, Ubisoft delays Assassin's Creed III on PC, Beyond Good & Evil HD gets a retail release, and Jet Set Radio HD gets a release date and price. And finally, Ask SSJ leads to discussions of pets, farts, peanut butter, some terrifically stupid injuries, and ways to deal with a hobo infestation.

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan
Strut: Pablo J & the Lobsterettes
Vain-Glory: Ibis Nixon & the Cowboy Zealots

Speccy Nerdy F*cknuts: ignatzthemouse / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Who Do You Think You Are: The Bubblewrap Sensation

CLICK HERE to download!
Check out Lara's Facebook page, and while you're at it, her Tumblr!
Check out Pablo J & the Lobsterettes! We like 'em so much, we named the episode after them!
Check out Slender! It's definitely worth your zero dollars and zero cents!
Add Sandsky on XBL: colourfast
Add Xavier on PSN: xavierrn
FREE ADVICE: Generally speaking, if you're going to ask for a girl's phone number, avoid using the phrase "exchange telephone numbers". It is unwieldy and you will quite likely end up laughing at your own foolishness.

More free advice: If we invite you to be on SSJ, don't fall asleep on the way here.

Episode 36 - Chick Fillet

This week, we talk about Jurassic Park, intolerance, perry, Street Fighter IV, bare-footedness, dangerous drug tests, the Grim Rapper, and the mass extinction of the human race. Farming Simulator 2013 is announced, GTA V viral marketing begins, Square Enix backs the Ouya, Star Wars: The Old Republic goes free-to-play, World of Warcraft loses a million subscribers, we have an argument so bad it's censored in post, Sony loses $312 million, Capcom wins big on Dragon's Dogma, someone wastes a bunch of money on eBay, and Google aims to stop shady knock-off apps. Then we bring back Ask SSJ, where we talk about breast implants, money-saving tips, best friends, and the story of our new mascot, Hank the lobster-scorpion hybrid. We also talk about the death of our intern Franken, laugh tracks, Tom's drug habit, Peter Pan, Tom's perplexing genitals, and tease-able names. Which one of us do you think is Hitler?

MUSIC USED:
SSJ Theme 2: Xavier Rubetzki Noonan
I Need A Life: Born Ruffians
Float Islands Beach: Love Through Cannibalism
FEATURE TRACK:
Vampire: The Bubblewrap Sensation

CLICK HERE to download!
YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE RAN OVER A SQUID
Please stick around til the end of the episode for cool tunes and wacky out-takes!
Check out The Bubblewrap Sensation! They're really cool and have gigs coming up soon.
Add Sandsky on XBL: colourfast
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I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor, don't bring me down!